so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company