Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.