Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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