I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
