I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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