Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying

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(954): View more from Florida

What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

(904): View more from Florida

Both

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(607): View more from New York

My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.

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(646): View more from New York

when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.

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(607): View more from New York

Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms

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