i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
