Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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