all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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