glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
