he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize