i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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