one two three fourrrrnication!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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