no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
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you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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