I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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