belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
