ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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