I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
