Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
