I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
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You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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