i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
