My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
