Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
