Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
