is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize