Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
