He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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