conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
