What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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