its not stalking. its research.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
