we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
