note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Shame is for Republicans.
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