I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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