HIV tests are more positive than that guy
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
