All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
