he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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