the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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