I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
