We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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