Barsexuality is the new black.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
