There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
