Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am mentally ready for anal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
