I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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