Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i think we sleep fucked last night...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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