so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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