we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
