I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
