But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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