They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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