Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
