By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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