I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
