I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am available for nakedness
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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