The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
