I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
