I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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