Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
