Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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