I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
