is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
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