i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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