In the future we'll all be gay
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
