If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
