Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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