he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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