It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
