Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
