I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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